I’ve been doing My New Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein. In it, there is an essay prompt: “Why do you suppose the world isn’t all warm and fuzzy and doesn’t look more like that [everyone living happily, co-creating good lives]?” I’m going to take a shot at answering this.
I think a lot of the hurt in our world comes from a place of fear. For many people, that fear is a fear of being hurt or dying. There’s a severe lack of resources for many of us. So we fight to protect ourselves. In addition, hurt people hurt people. Once violence is enacted, it becomes a vicious cycle.
However, there are some people with more than enough resources, who have never been hurt. In these cases, I think the main cause of their harm is a culture of selfishness and violence. They are taught that hurting people is the natural way and that if they lose their power, they will be hurt in the same way they hurt others. This paranoia is, I believe, a sickness that ends up poisoning everyone.
So, if this is an illness, what is the cure? In my opinion, there are two elements. One is removing the overflow of resources that allow these people to isolate themselves from the rest of society. It’s hard to seek common ground when one person is at the top of a mountain. The other part is kindness to all people. The more we show these people that their fear of being treated poorly is unfounded, the easier it will be to reintegrate them into society.
This kindness doesn’t mean allowing them to run amuck. Instead, we must lift up the most marginalized. By tearing down the prison industrial complex, we show that they don’t have to fear retribution (though we can still expect reparations). By ensuring that the hungry are fed and the unhoused are sheltered, we show that they don’t have to fear for their survival. By helping the most powerless, we help everyone.